So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
