i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
