More tranny stories later!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize