Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
