remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just made my gag reflex go away.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
