I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
