Got a toothbrush?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
