I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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