worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
