So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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