He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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