why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
