you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
