She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just want to make out with him forever
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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