he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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