seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
