Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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