its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
