and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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