We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
