My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
