The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
