I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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