Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
