Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
