I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
its liver damage thursday
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
