I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
