The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
