I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
