btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
