Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
