How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
