Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
