we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
