I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
is it fun? or sober?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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