we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
