forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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