guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize