you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
