no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
