you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
