Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
