as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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