As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
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