Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
