he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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