no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize