I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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