If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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