It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
