Got a toothbrush?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize