Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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