Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
