all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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