that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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