Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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