Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
