So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You were trust falling into bushes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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