No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
