You just made me feel so damn special
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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