He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ok first of all what the fuck
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
