I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
