was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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