I should be sponsored by Trojan
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize