ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
