butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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