Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
