...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize