ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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