Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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