someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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