she was so not down for the gang bang
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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