is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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