Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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