Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
