I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
