I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
