Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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