hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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