Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
