omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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