So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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